Ghost Stories
by Bomb-O-Maniac
Summary: Iruka gets a new house. It’s pretty cool [and old] - apart from the fact that it just so happens to be haunted. Not to mention that it attracts spooky things, boogie-men, stalkers, and what-not. REVIEW!
1. Default Chapter

_**Ghost Stories**_

_**By: Bomb-O-Maniac**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own their kids… this plot… and Hyou and everything else... AND MOONY-CHAN!**__**  
Genre: General, Humor, Angst, Mystery, Action/Adventure… I dunno**__**  
Rating: PG13**_

_**Summary: Iruka gets a new house. It's pretty cool (and old) - apart from the fact that it just so happens to be haunted. Not to mention that it attracts spooky things, boogie-men, and stalkers.**_

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_Brrrrrrrng._

_Brrrrrrrng._

_Brrrrrrrng._

_Brrrrrrrng._

The knob for the water in the shower squeaked as it was turned. The water stopped running and a males voice was heard.

"Hold on a second!"

The bathroom door creaked open and a towel clad dolphin sensei raced towards the phone, nearly tripping over his cat in the process. Said cat meowed indignantly and jumped onto the back of a lone, lumpy couch in the middle of the living room.

_Brrrrrrrng._

"Gotchya!" He cried as he dove for the phone and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hello, Please buy our stuff. I live in a box. ... God I'm lonely…"

"…"

Iruka shook his head and hung the phone up. Readjusting the towel around his waist, he made his way back towards the shower.

_Brrrrrrrng._

(HA! I lied...)With a sigh, the brown skinned man made his way back to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

"Hell-?"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"ACK!" Iruka jerked the phone away from his ear and slammed the receiver down to it's proper place. He stared wide eyed down at the phone.

"…!"

Moony-Chan (Irukas pet silver and black tom-cat) took this moment to jump onto his masters shoulder, careful not to sink his claws into the humans skin, and drape himself around his neck. Absently, Iruka reached up a hand to scratch the tom-cats ears to help calm himself. He was still staring at the phone. Finally, after a few more moments of silence, he slowly began to back away, turn around, and march towards the bathroom-

_Brrrrrrrng._

"ARGH!"

Iruka (and his cat) stomped back over towards the phone. He picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

"Hellooooo?"

Nothing.

"Hell-"

"Help me." a small voice asked. Iruka couldn't tell what gender it was.

"Help me!" the small voice asked again. This time more urgently.

"Excuse me?"

"Help me!" the voice repeated. "Quickly! Before-!"

The line went dead. Slowly, confusedly, Iruka hung up the phone once again. He stared at it, deep in thought. Well, not really deep in thought… more along the lines of -

"Moony-Chan... what the hell was that…?"

Moony-Chan meowed a rather dramatic 'meow' in response to his question.

"You're absolutely right Moony-Chan… I should go finish my shower and then go to bed - completely ignoring everything that just went on…" Iruka answered the cat as he continued to stare at the phone as if it had just told him some sort of lame joke. He turned and began to make his way towards the bathroom.

Then, quite abruptly, he turned back around andpurposley walkedtowards the phone jack. Reaching down, he yanked the cord out of the wall and let it drop. He smiled to himself.

"All better!" he chirped. Standing up and straitening his towel once more - Iruka left to go finish his shower.

_(Next Morning)-_

"Who the hell are you calling a bitch! I am not a bitch!" yelled the peeved voice of the amazing Anko. "IRUKA! Tells this jerk that I'm not a bitch!"

Iruka, who had just trudged through the office door, turned to face his oldest friend. He gave her a tired, drowsy eyed stare.

"Anko," he said in a deadpan voice "You always have been, still are, and always will be a bitch." With that said, Iruka turned back the way he was previously facing, and began to trudge off towards the wondrous Mr. Coffee.

Anko stuck her tongue out and shot him the bird behind his back.

"Heh heh, Glad to know you caaaare!" she yelled after him. Iruka waved his hand lazily with out deterring from his course.

"You're welcome, Anko, oh dearest and bitchiest friend of mine." Anko grinned sadistically. She loved it when her friend was half asleep when he came to work. Though, below all that, the purple haired woman was worried when her dolphin friend didn't get enough sleep - or caffeine for his coffee addiction. If someone else hadn't noticed his out of character behavior when she did - she'd be making her way over to the dolphin just like his ex-student was right now.

"You all right sensei?" asked the blond jounin.

"I'm fine Naruto." Iruka yawned. "Just a bit sleepy is all."

"Rough night?"

"Yes…" Iruka muttered before gulping down a steaming cup of coffee. Then he saw the Kyuubi's look. Hechoked out his coffee. "You idiot! Not like that!" The dolphin smacked Naruto upside the head and glared at him.

"Then what _did_ you mean sensei?" Naruto grinned widely and wiggling his eyebrows suggestivly. Iruka opened his mouth to say something but stopped. Instead, he gave Naruto his most condesending glare.

"You're getting the lowest ranking mission I can find today." He announced.

Naruto's jaw dropped to the ground.

"WHAT!"

"You heard me."

"BUT! You've got to me kidding me!"

"I kid you not."

"…"

"…"

"Damn you!" Naruto cried out. "I didn't do anything! Just because you're PMSing doesn't mean you have- OW! WATCH WERE YOU THROW THAT THING DAMN IT! OW! HEY!"

Iruka threw another kunai at Naruto.

"Fine - OW! - I'm leaving already old man - OW!" Naruto dived out the nearest window. Iruka looked out the window after him.

"I hope he hits his head on the ground…" he muttered and then gave a face splitting yawn.

Oh yes, Anko enjoyed it immensely when her friend was half asleep in the mornings.

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**_Author Note:_**

**_Well, that was random and entertaining And i didn't even make it to a thousand words... damn... I wonder if I can think of a second chapter to this -bashes head-_**

**_MOONY-CHAN! -grin- so kawaii!_**

**_Reveiw and tell me what you think - and help me with idea's... and pairings... Just... reveiw if you want them O.o My throat hurts... damn..._**

**_Oh well, I'm off to work on another random story that I'll only be able to get the first chapter done before I get distracted by something else... Wow... alot of me stories seem to be Iruka-based to a ceratin degree... sheesh... Iruka whumping is so much fun XDDD_**

**_Bomb-O-Maniac_**


	2. Feel That?

Chapter Two

By: Bomb-O-Maniac

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Iruka, or Kakashi (If I did own the last two - do you think I would still be typing this out for you perverts? No, I think not!) - I own Moony-Chan and their kids.

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Iruka spent the rest of his shift fending off a minor headache with a bottle of Advil. A LARGE bottle of Advil, too. Generously lent to him by the one and only Gai - who proclaimed loudly that it was better than anything the chuunin had ever taken before (especially if it came from his eternal rival, though, personally, Iruka didn't really care - he was to busy gulping down a few dry pills).

It wasn't until sometime after noon that the highlight of Iruka's day literally tackled him from behind. Not nearly as hard as Naruto used to tackle him, but still enough to make the dolphin stumble and almost fall.

"Sensei!" a Childs voice yelled. "Help me! She's gunna eat me!" Iruka reached behind over his shoulder and plucked a squirming adolescent off his back by the scruff of her neck. He held her out in front of him.

"Who's gunna eat you?" He asked curiously, wondering just who Hyou had managed to pull one over on this time. The child just grinned and pointed behind him. The dolphin turned, only to run strait into a furious looking Genma. There was an evil glint in his light brown eyes, and the senbon in his mouth twitched rapidly. All in all, this was a very intimidating scene. That is, it would have been if it weren't for the bright red lipstick smeared around his mouth, the large amounts of blush on his cheeks, the sparkly blue eye-shadow, and the bright pink bows done up in his hair. Iruka's eye twitched in a valiant effort to not laugh.

"Her!" the little girl pointed at Genma - who's eyes flashed. "I don't know why she wants to eat me - EEP!" Genma lunged for the girl. The dolphin sensei quickly jerked the girl back towards himself and sidestepped the bandana wearing, senbon chewing jounin.

"Argh!" Genma glared at the chuunin, making himself look like a deranged clown. "Hand over the brat, Iruka." he growled, hands raised and just itching to get hold of the little girl. Iruka, figuring that he was still feeling the side affects of Gai's Advil, did something that he hadn't done since he was a teenager.

"You know Genma-san, blue really is your color."

And that was play with the proverbial fire, if you know what I mean. Genma turned a full blown glare upon the chuunin. The brown skinned man gave him a wave and flashed a cheeky grin.

"Don't be like that Genma-san, I'm only stating the truth. And the pink bows look really good. Have you considered entering the next beauty contest?" the little girl, Hyou, pressed her head against Iruka's chest and giggled. The corners of his lips threatened to turn into toothy grin as the sensei watched the jounin turn an unbelievable shade of bright red.

It was almost as if he had been covered completely in bright red lipstick.

The jounin's eye twitched rapidly and his fingers flexed. The dolphins excellent ninja skills picked up the bright orange nail polish. His eyes crinkled - which seemed to enrage the man even more.

"And when you win that beauty contest - you won't mind if I ask for you autograph will you? Hey! Maybe even the author of 'Icha Icha paradise' will ask you to pose for him!"

"Jiraiya is asking who to pose for him?" a voice interrupted from above. Iruka looked up. He grinned, this was great, of all the times for Kakashi to randomly show up. Still feeling oddly out of character. Iruka just smiled and pointed at Genma.

"Her!" This seemed to make the older man blow his top, so to speak. With a yell of rage, he charged the dolphin, who did the first thing one should always do when being attacked by a big bully - hide behind someone else. Iruka poofed onto the roof above, landing beside Kakashi. "Don't you think she's pretty Kakashi-san? Like a model or something."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and glanced at Genma. The copy-nin nearly choked on his tongue.

"Argh!" He yelped when he turned around only to find a seething Genma in his face._' It's the attack of the evil clowns!'_ Kakashi thought wildly._ 'Oh, no wait, that's just Genma…OH MY GOD!'_ He grinned evilly under his mask, making his eye take on a slightly sinister look. A look that Iruka noticed and backed away from.

Kakashi thought wildly. He grinned evilly under his mask, making his eye take on a slightly sinister look. A look that Iruka noticed and backed away from. 

"You mean this beautiful peace of work?" Kakashi glomped Genma. "I think she's just stunning. He nuzzled Genma's neck and then said in a deep, purring voice that nearly flooded over with barely kempt hormones. "You think she might want to share a hotel room with me sometime?"

"Oh god! Get it off! GET IT OFF!" Genma struggled to get away from the groping scarecrow - his rage against the chuunin and the chuunin's miniature look alike all forgotten.

Suddenly, there was a soft prickling at the back of Iruka's neck. It felt as if he was being watched. Sub-consciously, the dark haired man reached back and rubbed his neck. The being watched feeling intensified. Dragging his attention away from the two jounin, he looked around discreetly.

Nothing… Just a couple of birds._'Probably just overreacting to something…' _the man thought _'Or maybe it's that Advil - I'm never accepting medicine from Gai again.' _The man thought with a sweat-drop.

Glancing up at the sky, he stared a passing cloud and then tuned his attention back into the chuunin examiner and the infamous Sharingan user. _'Yes, just overreacting…'_

"…But you're so beautiful!"

"Get OFF! Don't make me shove this needle up your ass!"

"Oh, would you really?" A pause. "Hey! You got lipstick on my mask!"

"HA! Serves you right! HAHAHA - ACK!"

Hyou tugged on Iruka-sensei's vest.

"I'm hungry - can we go get something to eat, pleaaase?" she pleaded, giving him her best 'I'm-cute-and-adorable-so-there's-no-way-in-hell-you-can-resist-my-puppy-dog-eyes' look. Iruka sighed and shook his head. He'd become immune to those kinds of looks ever since he'd taken care of Naruto. He smiled fondly.

"Sure, why not. How does ramen and fried biscuits sound?" he asked.

"Yesh!" Hyou hugged him around the neck. "Thank you, thank you! Food!"

"Heh, you're welcome. Hold on." with that said, Iruka jumped from roof top to roof top towards Ichiraku, leaving the two 'mature adult jounin' to settle their differences on their own.

The feeling of being watched by someone or something never left Iruka for the rest of the day.

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Authors Note

Er, how was that? Good? IT HAD DAMN WELL BETTER HAVE BEEN GOOD!

Anyways (god I'm hungry) I'm tired than hell. I'll be back on tomorrow… when I wake up (lol I sleep like the freaking dead so it might be awhile)…ah well…

I hope you all enjoyed the next installment of this story - and if you didn't…. well… flames are used for burning down national parks, and constructive criticism is always welcome.

Bomb-O-Maniac


	3. Dreams

**Chapter Three**

**By: Bomb-O-Maniac**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto - I own Moony-chan and their kids**

_**-"Waka"-**_ **Is people speaking in the dream**

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Much later that night, Iruka, Hyou, and now Anko and her purple haired cousin (you know, that one ANBU chick) sat in the mission room. Iruka because he always got the extra work, Anko and her cousin because they liked to sit, chat, and keep the dolphin company whenever they were free (a.k.a. because it was just so much fun molesting - I MEAN HARRASING - him). Hyou was there because… well… the orphan had never answered him when he asked, just smiled and took a bite out of a fried biscuit she smuggled in (Iruka suspected it she was there for the same reasons that Anko was there, though - just not the molesting part). 

Even though he was around ninja's the whole day, Iruka couldn't help but still feel watched and somewhat vulnerable. At first he ignored it and continued to blame it all on Gai's medicine. But as the day wore on, and the other's gradually all went home to their family or significant others, the feeling intensified.

By a lot.

A lot of a lots.

He nearly screamed for joy when Anko and her cousin waltzed in and plunked their cute selves onto the table tops near him not five minutes ago. He was so happy to see them, he didn't even try to scold them for sitting on the table tops - again.

"Oi, Iruka-kuuun… Did you happen to see what happened to Genma earlier today?" Anko's cousin, Yui, asked slyly. Iruka looked up from the current mission report he held in his hand. Oh, he remembered the bright red lipstick, sparkly blue eye shadow, blush, and orange fingernail polish…

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did - I suppose you two had a hand in that didn't you?" he narrowed his eyes at them somewhat. Anko leaned in towards him, showing off a good deal of cleavage at the same time.

"And if we did?" Iruka blushed and cleared his throat.

"Well.. Umm. Uh.." he spluttered weakly. "Good job?" Anko laughed out loud and patted his head.

"It wasn't _our_ idea," she grinned. "We just provided the means and the tools to get it done."

Iruka composed himself somewhat.

"Riiight… And who's idea was it to turn Genma into a supermodel today?" he queried. Anko giggled and pointed to floor beside Iruka. He looked down and sighed.

"I should have known…"

"Heh, we think you're a bad influence on her." the chuunin choked.

"I'M a bad influence?"

"Yea! Not only does she look like you, but acts like you somewhat, too."

"You mean charming, adorable, and utterly innocent of all pranks and wrong doings accused of committing in the past or to be committed?" he asked innocently, blush now fully receded only to return full force when Yui and Anko draped themselves on top of him and nuzzled his neck.

"Only the adorable part." the short haired Anko giggled.

"Eep!"

The brown skinned man turned about four different shades of red as he was held as limp like a rag doll in the two special jounin women's grip. Suddenly, the chair began to fall over backwards from their combined weight. ((a/n: Or _did_ it? This _is_ a story with supernatural stuff in it you know…))

"Ack! Floor!"

"Whoa!"

"Wee!"

The chair clattered to the floor, empty. Iruka, being the extra flexi ninja guy that he was, had twisted around in mid fall, catching Anko in one arm and holding her to his chest, while holding out his other hand to stop the fall in a one handed push-up like position.

Yui had ended up on his back, though he had no idea how that happened.

Hyou chose that moment to wake up from her nap on the floor with her living, breathing, canine pillow Inu. She blinked once, twice, and shook her head.

"Old people are weird…" she muttered as she stumbled, still more asleep that awake, over towards the trio and collapsed onto the dolphins back as well. Iruka and Anko craned their necks to watch as Yui picked up the once again fast asleep little girl and set her onto the desk top.

Now that Yui was off his back, he shifted so that he was sitting against the wall Indian style, still holding Anko to him.

"I'm not old…" Iruka mumbled into her shoulder, then yawned. "But sleep does sound pretty good…"

"Eh? Oh don't you dare fall asleep! Hey! 'Ruka wake up!" Anko yelled.

"I'm not asleep… don't worry." He laid his head on her shoulder and shut his eyes. "At least not yet anyways…"

And THEN he fell asleep.

Yui snickered.

"Make yourself comfy Anko, I don't think he plans on letting go - or moving for that matter - anytime soon." she grinned.

* * *

_**"Iruuukaa…"** __said a child's voice. _

_**"Iruuuuuuuuuuuuuuukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…"** __It was familiar. He knew he'd heard that voice somewhere before. But where?_

_"Iruka!" Now that one was Anko, no doubt about that. "Wake up!"_

_Why should he wake up? Wasn't he up already?_

_Wasn't -_

_**"Iruka**__**!" **Now that wasn't the child's voice.** "Ignore them! It's just us here…just you and me…"**_

_Ignore them?_

_"Iruka!" It was Anko again. "It's just a nightmere! Wake up!"_

_"Ignore her! You don't need that witch!"_

_Ignore Anko?_

_"Sensei!"_

_"Tramps! Dogs! Ingrates!"_

_Ignore Hyou?_

_"Iruka!"_

_"Insolent demons and useless human whelps!"_

_Naruto?_

_He could never do that (also seeing that it was almost virtually impossible to ignore them anyways)!_

_Could he?_

_

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**Authors Notes: HII! I finally updated! WOOT! AND NO ONE BITCHED AT ME TO DO SO EITHER! HA! TAKE THAT!**

**This may or may not be the best attempt at flirting and romance crap... -is romantically challenged-**

**And I'm sorry, this isn't going to be a Kakairu (though, kakashi will be in it, sodon't worry). I've decided on Iruka/Anko because I believe that she could do just as good a job of molesting Iruka as Kakashi can XDDD**


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